Strong Minds, Brave Hearts: Empowering Kids with ACT Therapy

Helping Children Thrive with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT):

As a psychologist working with children and adolescents, one of the most rewarding parts of my work is seeing young people learn how to handle difficult thoughts and feelings, grow their confidence, and take action in relation to what really matters to them. One therapy model I’ve found particularly powerful in helping kids achieve this is ACT.

1.      Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

While ACT is increasingly recognised for its effectiveness with adults, its application with children and adolescents is equally efficacious. In this article, I’ll explore how ACT works in child therapy, its benefits for anxiety and emotional resilience, how it compares to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and the benefits of ACT for families in therapy.

2.      What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for children?

ACT is a form of behavioural therapy that focuses on helping people live a full, meaningful life by teaching them to accept what they can’t control and commit to actions that align with their values. Instead of trying to "get rid" of uncomfortable feelings or thoughts, ACT encourages making space for them while continuing to take steps toward what matters most (i.e. our values).

When adapted for children and adolescents, ACT becomes a playful, creative, and deeply engaging approach that helps young people:

• Learn how to notice and name their feelings

• Understand that thoughts are just thoughts, not facts

• Let go of unhelpful internal struggles (like "I must get rid of this worry")

• Connect with their values (what kind of person they want to be)

• Take committed action, even when feeling anxious or uncertain

ACT with children often includes storytelling, metaphors, videos, games, movement, and mindfulness exercises tailored to their developmental stage. It’s less about talking and analysing and more about doing—practicing new ways of responding to thoughts, feelings, and challenges.

3.      How ACT Helps Children with Anxiety

Children with anxiety often become stuck in a loop of avoidance. They might avoid school, social situations, or new activities because of fears like “What if I embarrass myself?” or “What if something bad happens?” ACT helps by gently shifting the focus from trying to control or eliminate the anxiety to accepting its presence and still making brave choices aligned with their values.

Here’s how ACT helps reduce the hold anxiety has on a child:

        I.            Defusion from Thoughts

ACT teaches kids how to “unhook” from anxious thoughts. For example, instead of believing “I can’t do this” means they shouldn’t try, they learn to treat it as a thought passing through—something their mind says when they feel nervous. Techniques like saying the thought in a silly voice, or writing it on a cloud and watching it float by, make it easier for children to see the thought as just a thought, not a rule.

     II.            Acceptance of Feelings

Rather than fighting anxiety (“Go away!”), children learn that it’s okay to feel anxious. Anxiety becomes something they can notice and name—“There’s the worry monster again”—without needing to obey it. This acceptance creates space to do important things even with anxiety present.

   III.            Values and Committed Action

ACT helps children identify and connect with their values—like being a good friend, being brave, or learning new things—and then use these as motivation to take small steps toward growth. Teaching ACT to a child might help them say for example, “Even though I feel scared, I’ll raise my hand in class because learning is important to me.”

Over time, this process builds confidence and reduces the fear of fear itself.

4.      ACT vs. CBT in Child Therapy

Both ACT and CBT are evidence-based therapies with strong research support for helping children with anxiety, depression, and other emotional difficulties. However, there are some key differences between the two therapies.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)	ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)
Focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful thoughts	Focuses on accepting thoughts and changing the relationship to them
Emphasises logic and evidence (e.g., “Is this thought true?”)	Emphasises noticing, allowing, and letting go (e.g., “Is this thought helpful?”)
Teaches coping skills to reduce distress	Teaches psychological flexibility—how to live even with distress
Often structured and skill-based	Often experiential, values-based, and metaphor-rich

Both approaches have strengths, and some therapists integrate elements of each. But many children, especially those who become overwhelmed by trying to “think their way out” of anxiety, find ACT’s approach of making room for feelings and moving toward values more intuitive and empowering.

5.      Building Emotional Resilience in Children Through ACT

Emotional resilience is a child’s ability to bounce back from challenges, cope with stress, and stay engaged with life even when it’s hard. ACT helps build this resilience by cultivating six key psychological skills (core tenets of ACT):

1. Present Moment Awareness (Mindfulness): Children learn to slow down and notice what’s happening around them and inside them, rather than getting lost in anxious thoughts or past regrets.

2. Acceptance: Instead of resisting or avoiding uncomfortable emotions, they learn that all feelings are valid and temporary—and they can handle them.

3. Defusion: Kids discover how to get distance from their thoughts so they don’t get stuck in a mindset of “I’m not good enough” or “Everyone’s judging me.”

4. Self-as-Context: ACT encourages the idea that we are more than our thoughts, feelings, or labels. This helps kids separate who they are from what they experience.

5. Values: Children explore what matters most to them—being kind, being curious, being brave—and use these as a compass for making decisions.

6. Committed Action: They learn to take small, meaningful steps toward their values, even when they feel scared, sad, or uncertain.

By practicing these skills, children develop emotional flexibility. They become better able to handle life’s ups and downs without shutting down or giving up.

6.      ACT Techniques for Parents: Supporting the Whole Family

ACT isn’t just for the therapy room. When parents understand and use ACT principles at home, it strengthens the child’s progress and improves family dynamics. Here are a few simple ways parents can use ACT in everyday life:

I. Model Acceptance

Instead of rushing to fix or distract from a child’s distress, practice sitting with it:“I can see you’re feeling really nervous. That’s okay. I’m here with you. Let’s take some deep breaths together.”This teaches children that big feelings aren’t dangerous—and that these feeilngs don’t have to go away for things to be okay.

II. Use Values Language

Help your child reflect on what matters:“Even though it’s scary, you’re showing courage by trying. That’s being brave. Being brave doesn’t mean not feeling scared—it means doing what matters even with fear.”

Values-based encouragement builds internal motivation.

III. Practice Defusion Together

When a child is stuck in an anxious thought, try fun defusion exercises:

• Say the thought in a silly voice (e.g like a robot or cartoon character)

• Imagine it as a leaf floating down a stream

This takes the power out of the thought and invites playfulness and perspective.

IV. Name and Normalize Emotions

Help your child identify and accept their emotions:“Sounds like frustration showed up today. That’s normal—we all feel that sometimes. Let’s see what we can do with it.”

This reduces shame and builds emotional literacy.

V. Create a Family Values Chart

Sit down as a family and brainstorm values that are important to you—like kindness, honesty, fun, or teamwork. Display them somewhere visible. Then, refer to them when making decisions or solving conflicts:“What would being respectful look like here?”

This anchors behaviour in shared meaning.

Final Thoughts

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy offers children and families a powerful toolkit for facing life’s challenges with openness, courage, and clarity. Rather than trying to control every emotion or eliminate anxiety, ACT invites young people to live fully with their emotions—while staying connected to what matters most.

In a world that often encourages avoidance, perfectionism, and distraction, ACT offers something different: the freedom to feel, the strength to act, and the insight to choose what truly matters.

If you’re interested in learning more about ACT for your child or family, consider speaking with a psychologist trained in ACT. There are also many great resources for parents, such as:

• “The Happiness Trap” by Dr. Russ Harris (and its version for teens)

• “The Thriving Adolescent” by Dr. Louise Hayes and Joseph Ciarrochi

• “Stuff That’s Loud” by Ben Sedley and Lisa Coyne (for teens with anxiety)

ACT isn’t just therapy—it’s a way of living. And for many children and families, it’s the beginning of a much more compassionate and courageous journey.

🌱 Your Child’s Wellbeing Deserves the Best At Breakthrough Psychology Practice, we have practicing for 15 years in West Pennant Hills, North West Sydney, Hills area. We thrive on supporting your child’s needs, with evidence based practice. We understand the unique challenges children and adolescents face when living with anxiety and neurodiversity. That’s why our clinicians are trained in evidence-based practices, including the transformative modality of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

🧠 ACT helps young minds foster resilience, emotional regulation, and psychological flexibility—so they can grow with purpose and confidence.

💬 Whether you’re a caregiver, educator, or health professional, our latest article explores how ACT can reshape mental health support for neurodiverse youth.

📅 Take the first step today. Book your appointment now to give your child—and your family—personalised care guided by the latest psychological research and compassionate expertise.